Photography Week - Selfies

Here I am! Look at me! I am the subject of my story!

That's the basic message of selfies. Since the advent of smartphones, selfies have taken off. They're such a big deal now that the most popular Christmas gift in 2014 was the selfie stick. It can't be denied that selfies are a cultural phenomenon.

Selfies are growing on me. I'm not a huge fan of them, but I think they're valuable. I generally avoid taking selfies because I feel awkward about them. Is my face really interesting enough for it to be the focus of a picture?

If the camera lens is God glasses, and taking a photograph involves a “long, loving look at the real,” then selfies are like a God mirror. You look into the front facing camera on your smartphone and try to see God in yourself. That's intimidating.

St. Ignatius encourages us to see God in all things, and that included ourselves. I think that can often be the hardest place to find God. It's hard to find God in yourself because you know yourself so well, and you know all your faults and failings (both public and private). It's hard to find God in yourself because you don't want to get prideful and confused and start equating yourself with God. It's hard to find God in yourself because we're so used to thinking of God as other.

God is an old man in the sky. God is a young man on a cross. God is a mysterious spirit floating over us. God is “out there” and we go to God for help, for comfort, for companionship. God is most often presented to us as distinctly different. But if God is in all things, then God is in us. And not in us as a beneficent alter ego who comes to the forefront when we're at out best, God is a part of us. That's a depth of intimacy that we can't always handle.

So that's why I feel shy about selfies: because I'm afraid of that depth of intimacy with my friend Big G. But that's also why I don't sit back and criticize other people for taking selfies, because it means they can take that long loving look at themselves and see a beauty worth sharing with the world.

Selfie sticks, on the other hand, are dumb.  

Photography Week - Tourists and Locals

I walk past a lot of photographers almost every day. The steps in front of the church are the quickest route from my house to the parish center; they're also a popular place for tourists to take pictures in front of the Sistine Chapel of the Americas. With time, pretty much anything can become normal. Lots of what the tourists are looking at through their lenses doesn't even call my attention. Things like the facade of the church, the mountains in the background, the big stone steps made of Incan rocks, and the little old lady who sits on them with her dog.

Every time I see someone taking a picture of that old woman I feel angry. Most people know that it's rude to take pictures of strangers. Imagine what your grandmother would say if someone walked up to her in the park and took a picture of her without so much as saying “hello.”

Just last week, I attended the funeral of a 3 year old boy. As we left the church to process to the cemetery, we drew the attention of a group of tourists disembarking from their bus. I saw a man raise his camera as the pallbearers passed him. I sped over to the tourist. “Sir, this is a funeral for a little boy. It's not for photos.” He lowered his camera. I hope he deleted the photos he had already taken.

Taking pictures of people is a complicated thing. As a stranger in a foreign land, curiousity and excitement come easily. It's natural to want to take pictures of everything to remember, to show to your people back home. And in that excitement it's easy to forget that the people you are photographing, despite being poorer than you, despite not having a fancy camera, are individuals with their own will.

Rule of thumb for your next trip: If you would feel weird taking a picture of a similar situation at home, don't take a picture here.

Photography Week - God Glasses

I started keeping a journal in 2008, just after returning from Kujenga Viongozi,* the annual black-Catholic youth retreat. One of the first pages of my journal is filled with notes and quotes from the various priests and presenters. One of my favorite ones says “Put on God glasses.”

The idea is that we don't always see things clearly. Sometimes we need to put on God glasses to be able to get the whole picture. As Jethro sings in The Prince of Egypt, “look at your life through Heaven's eyes.” LINK. God glasses help us focus on what's real.

At some point last year it occurred to me that my camera was my God glasses (though maybe God monocle would be more accurate). I look through the lens to really see something. To notice its beauty, its excitement, its sorrow, its joy. The camera isn't for quick glances, it's for taking a “long loving look at the real.”**

When I bring my camera out of the house, it's because I'm expecting to find something work looking at; I'm expecting to find God. And invariably I do. “Seek and you will find.” The camera strap on my shoulder reminds me to seek. It tells me to be watchful, for I don't know the day or the hour when I'll stumble across some beauty, some goodness, some truth worth seeing through my God glasses.

In this way, the camera's first purpose in my life isn't for taking pictures to show other people, it isn't for recording me life. The camera's first purpose is to, day by day, let me see God more clearly.

So when you look at my photos on this blog, you're seeing what I see through my God glasses.

*Swahili for “Building Leadership”

**Fr. Walter Burghardt's famous description of contemplative prayer.

Photography Week

Besides throwing my sister and I a huge party, my parents' college graduation present to me was a camera. I don't know much about cameras, but it's a nice camera, the kind that makes you assume the person who owns it knows lots about photograph. I tell you this not to show off, but because I want you to understand how I felt about it – intimidated.

I wasn't much of a photographer, and my take on owning things is that the use/enjoyment you get out of them should be to some degree proportional to the cost. I don't buy a monthly T pass unless I'm sure I'll take enough rides that month to make it worth the cost. So not thinking of myself as a serious photographer, but having a similar camera to the people I thought of as serious photographers was intimidating, it meant I had to up my photo game.

So that's what I've been doing.

This week I'll be sharing some reflections about photography that come after a year and a half of looking through a lens, observing other photographers, and being captured in other people's photographs. Welcome to Photography Week.

Buen viaje, Fabio!

From Señor de los Milagros
Fabio is the man on the right.

Yesterday we said goodbye to Fabio, a volunteer from Spain who worked with a Jesuit NGO called CCAIJO. He's spent most of the last year in Andahuaylillas and has been an integral part of the local volunteer community. Now he's finished his service and flying back to Spain.

It's funny to think that his entire time in Andahuaylillas fits inside mine with room to spare. I certainly watched his goodbye closely because I'll have to make mine in just under half a year.

Safe travels, Fabio. See you in Segovia!

Belleza por Todos Lados - Grumpy Flower

Noted with Translation - Sisters of the Good Shepherd Edition

A person is worth more than a world.

All the Time?

In the Black Catholic church, we have a call and response that reminds us of God's faithfulness.

God is Good – All the time!And all the time – God is good!

At work today I sat and talked with a 12 year old girl about how she's treated like Cinderella by everyone in her family, and how they beat her and pull her hair when they get angry with her. At 3 I left work to go to a funeral. A boy from town died of pneumonia Sunday night. He was 3 years and 10 months old.

Is God really good all the time? Was God good today?

My student told me before we finished our session that she wanted to keep coming back and talking to me. “I feel so much better talking about it. I never told anyone except my friend before.” I asked her if she wanted to have regular one-on-ones; she said yes. I gave her a hug and we stepped out of the school's chapel to face the day, with smiles on our faces.

After the funeral mass and the procession, during which different men of town took turns carrying the small casket, we arrived at the graveyard. The boy's father spoke before they laid the casket inside the tomb. “Don't you worry about us, my son. We're ok. Don't be sad for us; because we are happy for you.” Of course he cried. We all did. But this father witnessed to the faith, to the miracle of the resurrection.

My student could find some hope and safety int talking with me in the school chapel. A town turned out to cry with a family doing the hardest of things. A father was able to find some peace despite the loss of his only child. No one carried their pain alone. God made sure of that.

God is good - All the time? 

Yes. All the time. God is Good.

Belleza por Todos Lados - Perfectly Baked Good

On Celebrating Father's Day

Erin shared this meme with us last week. Of course it's funny - Mother's Day gets way more celebration than Father's Day. Mom gets a parade, Dad has to by himself a cake and celebrate on his own. It's a joke that probably rings true with fathers across the globe. But it also got me thinking.

Across the world we have a fatherhood problem. So many men don't take the same interest in their children as their wives do. I am blessed to have a father who relishes his role, and I'm better for it. But so many children don't have that same joy that I have.

Maybe Father's Day isn't as celebrated because fathers aren't putting in as much work. Maybe, as "ye olde gendre normes" are broken down and fathers as a whole step their dad-game up, Father's Day will be more celebrated.

But maybe we should look at it the other way. Maybe Father's Day should be as big a deal as Mother's Day. Maybe that small cultural shift could be part of a larger change that assumes fatherhood is worth celebrating and living. Maybe that could help bring about the very shift that so many children would like to see.

This post brought to you by the future fathers department of PeruBen volunteer industries.

Feliz Día del Padre

Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there!

I'm especially wishing a Happy day to the one and only Luke Hill, formerly the tallest man in the Gilbride clan,* he is one of the wisest and most thoughtful people I know. Thanks for helping me through the stormy waters that you had charted, for lots and lots of pancakes and cookies, and for reading so many books and summarizing them for me so I wouldn't have to.**

Big love to the big man!

*I see you Kevin Churchill.

**That being said, when I realized part of why my father is so smart is because he has a stack of books as tall as himself and makes regular use of his library card, I decided to double down on the reading thing. I think on the way.

Belleza por Todos Lados - Job 37:6

"For to the snow He says, 'Fall on the earth,' And to the downpour and the rain, 'Be strong.'."

Some Thoughts on Translation

I've done a lot of translating in the last two weeks. I spent plenty of time being the lingual bridge between US doctors and their Peruvian patients, sometimes relying on a second Spanish-Quechua translator to complete the line of communication. Then last Wednesday I translated for the staff of PERFAL as they presented their work to a group of staff from Georgetown. Earlier in the year I translated a presentation/tour that Pd. Eddy gave to a group of students from some American Jesuit university. So translation is a topic I've been reflecting on.

The first big question of translation is: which person do I use? Do I translate someone's words directly and use the first person? Or do I use the third person?

When translating between patients and doctors, I used the third person. Instead of trying to translate word for word what people said, I focused on the relevant information. When the doctor asked how someone had hurt their back, I would just translate the answer to that question. The lengthy story the patient told me about what they had for breakfast that day, or where their field is located, was something I left out of the English translation. So much extraneous information just frustrated doctors, so it seemed best to leave it out.

But when translating for colleagues, I tend to use the first person. That's because in presenting Fe y Alegría's work, they use nosotros (we). I'm a part of that work, so I use the word “we” in my translations. I also stick closer to the specific words that the presenter says. Part of that is because the presenters are mindful to leave breaks so I can translate for them. But that's also because the listeners are there to hear the presentation. They don't have targeted questions the way the doctors do.

Translation is more than just changing the words to a different language. In general, Peruvians are not a well hydrated people. So most doctors were telling me to tell the patient “Drink plenty of water.” But I know that Peruvians don't drink water. That's an American thing. Peruvians drink tea and refresco (a catch-all word for cold drinks like juice or iced tea). So instead of telling a patient “Drink plenty of water” and potentially confusing them into drinking giardia-laced tap water, I told them “drink lots of tea and refresco.” I was making a deliberate choice not to use the doctor's exact words. I made that choice to better convey the doctor's message (you need to be more hydrated) in a way that the patient could understand and apply.*

Last thing about translation: a translator has a lot of power.

When translating for the doctors/patients, I often had control of the room. If I was working with a doctor with no Spanish, and a patient with no English, I was the only person who knew everything that was going on. The doctor trusted me to get information from the patient and the patient trusted me to communicate their pain to the doctor. The same with Pd. Eddy presenting to a group of American college students. Neither would know if I intentionally changed their statements to hide information. Of course I didn't do that, but I was the only one in the situation with the power to do that. All information had to flow through me.

*Of course I told doctors about how people get their fluids here, and I noticed that by the last few days all the doctors I worked with were telling patients to “drink plenty of tea and refresco.”

Walk Together

Walk Together Children...

don't you get weary...

there's a great camp meeting in the Promised Land.

Señor de Qoyllurritti - A Pilgrim's Journal

The test of this post is a (slightly edited) transcription of  my journal entries for the pilgrimage to Señor de Qoyllurritti. I don't think I'll ever be able to fully explain the pilgrimage, at least not without making it many more times. But I hope this will give you a sense of the whole thing in all its music and dancing.

The image of Señor de Qoyllurritti

The Camp

Women Shaping Politics Across the Americas

It's been a good week for women. In the States, Hillary Clinton made history as the first female major party candidate for the presidency. In Peru, Keiko Fujimori lost to Pedro Pablo Kuczynski, which is good for all women who are against forced sterilization.

The presidential race in Peru was exceptionally close. Right now the count stands PPK 50.13% to Keiko 49.76%.* Peru has no electoral college, so the presidency is won based on the popular vote.

One thing that helped PPK pull ahead was an 11th hour message from ex-candidate Veronika Mendoza. She won the southern Andes in the first round of elections, in part because she is orginally from there. In fact she is a native of a town you know well by now - Andahuaylillas. On June 1, she recorded a message in Quechua, "Keiko Manan Atipananchu,"** urging supporters not to leave their ballots blank, but to vote for PPK against Keiko. The message was played on radio stations and distributed across social media. And plenty of analysts are saying it was probably a deciding factor in the race.

So there you have it, a woman form a small town may have decided the next president of Peru.

*There is less than 1% of the vote left to be counted, including votes from very rural areas and votes from Peruvians living outside the country.

**Keiko manan atipananchu is the Quechua for the anti-Keiko cry of "Keiko no va." It literally means "Keiko doesn't go," but carries the same basic sentiment as "Never Trump."

Quarterly Review 6 - Video

It helps, now and then, to step back

and take the long view.

-Prayer Honoring Pd. Oscar Romero

Last quarter I introduced a new element to the Quarterly Review – the video. It's a chance to step back and see what's happened in the last three months.

The song this quarter is “Rather Be” by Clean Bandit.* I love this song from the first time I heard it because it's not often that you hear a real violin on a pop radio station. Clean Bandit's whole sound is a cool mix of synthetic and acoustic instruments. Anyways I picked the song for a very specific reason.

After an evening of hanging out with my friend Bobbi and his family I wrote to another JV about the night: “... I had that feeling of rightness, or peace, that you get every now and then (you get those right? Or is that just me?). Just for that moment I felt like I could live here forever.” I can't live her forever, nor do I want to. But for now, there's no place I'd rather be.

Key events this quarter include:

Peruvian Elections - Round 2

Peruvians vote today. They're picking between two candidates who are neck in neck in the polls. Let's pray that all Peruvian voters consider their vote carefully, and that the electorate chooses the best person to lead the country forward for all Peruvians.

Quarterly Review 6

Quarterly Review 6

On the wall on the second floor of our home is a post it with a quote from Pedro Arrupe, SJ. It reads “una experiencia no reflexionada es una experiencia no vivida” - “an experience that is not reflected upon is an experience that is not lived.” Part of my nightly prayer involves review and reflection on the day, but a broader perspective can reveal themes that are missed. Sometimes we need to step back from examining the trees that make up the days and take in the forest of our lives. So every three months I'm stepping back, looking around, and mulling it all over.

The last three months have seen the beginning of the work year. By now I've settled into my routines and started all the long term projects I was tasked with when Pd. Eddy told me about my job for this year. I've checked some things off of my Peru Bucket List, and have started to prepare for my return in Boston in 2017. In the first three months the JVC values of Community and Social Justice were the most powerful. In this quarter the most salient value has been Spirituality. Here are the themes I see:

• Andean Spirituality
• Happy at School

Happy Important Date to Erin and Me

18 months (aka a year and a half ago) today Erin and I stepped out of the Cusco airport and into the very bright Andean sun.

This experience is entering it's final quarter. Keep us in your prayers as we try to be present to our lives here and prepare for our lives next year.

Doctors' Visit 2016

The doctors were back this year for a week and a half. I sat down with Hermana Vilma before they came to discuss maximizing my free hours at school so that I could help translate. “No Benjamín,” she told me, “this is an important use of your skills. I'll take care of the classes, you go translate.”

So an hour after I arrived in Andahuaylillas post-Qoyllurritti hike, I made my way over to the parish and the makeshift clinic to help translate. It was a better experience than last year. I think the group was better prepared than they were last year. I spent a lot of my time translating for two dentists who were performing extractions. They were especially good to me and taught me some useful tricks.*

No trip is perfect, and once again the group was not well organized when it came to the logistics of things like food. The parish staff came to me plenty of times asking what the deal was with the doctors' next meal.

My favorite day of working with the doctors was Saturday May 28. I went with a small group of them to a rural community called Churubamba. Churubamba is located on the back of Qoriorko, the mountain that I climbed with Lauren LINK. It's about 90 minutes of driving to get there. We rode in the back of a small truck. In Churubamba we only saw a few patients, but spent a lot of time with each one. Every single visit involved Quechua-Spanish-English translation. The last patient we saw was an 81 year old woman with terrible teeth. The dentist with us wanted to pull them all out, but the lady insisted that only one tooth was bothering her. After 15 minutes of cajoling she agreed to let the dentist pull the three worst teeth if, and only if, it didn't hurt when the first of them came out.

Fear of the dentist is a pretty common thing. But I've never seen anyone so afraid during dental work. It was clear from her teeth that the person who usually attended to her teeth was better at breaking them than he was at pulling them out cleanly. I can only assume that she'd experienced a great deal of pain at the hands of “dentists.” It was a wonder she even allowed the dentist with us to look at her mouth at all. After many tears all three teeth were out.

Working with the doctors gives JVs a chance to see a different aspect of normal life here. Healthcare is definitely substandard. The local clinic has been doctorless for the last month. The national health insurance definitely pays for mammograms but no one was sure if it would pay for cancer treatments. It's also a good source of reflection on the different ways to serve – a 2 week clinic is very different than 2 years of living here. I don't expect that any international service I do in the future will be as long term as JVC has been, so it's important to think about other models of service.

But most importantly working with the doctors is another way to serve. It is a way to serve people besides my students. It is a way to hear and validate people's pain. It is a way to help some people find relief from their pain. It is a way to demonstrate my apostolic availability to the people of Andahuaylillas.

*Did you know you can make a mouthwash with a 1 (Hydrogen Peroxide): 2 (Water) solution? They suggested to a man with inflamed gums.